hallelujah

this is glorious. each offering their unique strength. simply beautiful.

who's your worst enemy

A while back I commented here that one day I would share this story.

Today is the day. Seven years ago, 7/22/2001, you could hear the angels rejoicing in heaven as one dear precious saint surrendered her life to Jesus for the first time and entered into an eternal life giving relationship with her Savior. Ten years earlier, this person was my worst enemy, and I was hers. Neither of us had a clue that our battle was not against flesh and blood. While we directed our hatred at each other and away from the real culprit plotting and stringing us both along in what we now realize was the most ungodly relationship either of us had ever entered into, we could not see the forest for the trees. We were both lied to and deceived but God's grace, mercy, redemption and TRUTH prevailed!

This part of the do bee di "wash" chapter remains appropriately veiled to protect the innocent and the words I wrote nearly ten years ago to express this painful time are "the truth hurts but not as much as the eventual anguish the soul feels when deception is revealed. The desperate attempts to piece together, the disorientation of figuring out what is really real magnified by the inability to grasp another's intentionality to shroud. Tell me the truth so that I can exist and act upon what I know versus what has been hidden." I am never afraid of what I know. Anna Sewell

Sometime in 2000, this person called me, her voice trembling and filled with sorrow, she later said her body was shaking with apprehension not knowing how I would respond to her attempt to apologize for her part in what happened years earlier...that now it was happening to her. I would have never guessed the overwhelming amount of compassion I felt and just expressed through welling tears how sorry I was for what was happening to her...and said something like "oh...I forgave you years ago."

Six or seven months later, while out pulling weeds in my front yard, a few nights before July 22nd, I saw her approaching from her home a few doors down, and my heart started pounding what seemed like outside of my chest; thoughts raced and again with a sense of not knowing what this was all about, time seemed to stop. She shared how hard things had been for her since during her high school years and the more recent struggle to date and develop genuine friendships. I told her about this church I was going to now, and it so happened a co-worker of hers had also been asking her to go there with her for some time. "Hmmm....maybe I will" she said.

I saw her that next Sunday morning...I remember it vividly because it was also the day of my parents' 40th wedding anniversary...and when the pastor shared the love of Jesus, I saw her out of the corner of my eye, weeping and raising her hand toward heaven. YES! Oh my gosh, talk about a story of redemption! Praise God for forgiveness...that we can release our grip so that Jesus can redeem!

The details from there are fuzzy but we were now sisters in Christ and over time we worked through some really hard stuff and learned to trust each other in ways that at one time were incomprehensible. The circle of forgiveness was complete and all by the grace of God I had never felt anything so amazingly beautiful and right.

Love you to the moon my PURE JOY friend!
...and Happy New Birthday!

"From God's Heart Came a Friend Like You"

She is now happily married to a wonderful man
and they have one adorable son. God is good.

creation critters

being graceful
in the wild

morning glorious

do these make me look pretty

the very act
of observing
changes things unfortunately this little guy's response was flight

wonder where he's hiding now

i prefer mine
on the rocks

The Shack

I third the e-motion! I LOVED this novel!
It was highly recommended to me first by my friend Jules
and now here's a hearty endorsement I think you'll enjoy reading as well.

Brilliant~captivating~a must read!

The hardback edition features a new appendix by William P. Young detailing the story behind writing and publishing The Shack and is well worth the price, imho.

redemption*

I keep reminding myself, I forgive these people, myself, I forgive them.
So that God can redeem. I don't want to give the enemy any license by keeping my grip on any of this. I surrender. I keep reminding myself.
Again and again because it's necessary.

ravens & wildflowers freedom from worry

What do you worry about? What don't you worry about?

Our pastor preached a message out of Luke 12:22-34 so apropos for today that I thought I'd give it some blog space of its own. There are people I love in my life that worry a lot and it makes me worried for them. So I'm testing out some of Pastor Boyd's practical advice by getting these thoughts out of my brain and out through my fingertips. You can listen here and take some therapeutic notes for yourself, if you wish, but here are what I thought were the essential points.

Note: 6/8/2008 – Ravens and Wildflowers, Greg Boyd – sermon length is 44:02 minutes
As a society, we’re extremely worried. Concern about countless issues pervades our lives: our relationships, our kids, terror attacks, global warming, pandemics, the economy, living the American Dream – if we’re not careful, this worry can consume us. Jesus provides us with the Kingdom alternative to worrying, and it’s surprisingly related to birds and flowers. [Focus Scripture: Luke 12:22-34]

• We are living in an age of anxiety. It is the #1 mental health problem in adults & children.


• General level of anxiety is on the rise.


• Worrying kills us.


• We are designed with a flight or flight response.


• One shot of this powerful chemical concoction stays in the body for 18 minutes.


• God's design was for this to be a rare and short term thing.


• Worrying is giving yourself a steady dose.


• Amount of worry correlates to amount of sickness people experience.


• Worry steals and undermines quality of life.


• Can't be worried and happy at the same time.


• Fight or flight chemicals are designed for you NOT to be ok.


• Sustained worrying equals no joy.

1) Get medical/psychological help if needed-meds are ok and sometimes necessary.
2) Watch less News. Mostly highlights the worst that the world has to offer.

Used to be that a person was aware only of what happened to them, their family, their neighborhood. World catastrophies weren't heard about until months later....now, it's just mere minutes and we hear AND experience vicariously all the "what ifs" and "why nots" while those of us living in the U.S. are safest than anywhere else in the world...we worry most and often experience "survivor's guilt" and a general feeling of helplessness and despair.

Fight or Flight designed so you can ACT!
Limit amount and what you bring into your brain.

• When you witness horrific events say a prayer for the sufferers.


• Respond if God says send money or go help!


• Then forget about it! Survivor's guilt doesn't do any good.

Brain is processing worst case scenario. It wants you to remember and will keep reminding...like little internal post-its. Instead...and here is the point so far....WRITE IT DOWN!

Keep a kind of "Things to Worry About Later" journal and get these worries out of your head! Anyone who does this knows it really works!

Jesus Tips:

As usual, Jesus gets to the heart of the matter. He wants to eradicate worry out of our life not just give some cosmic self-help "how to become healthy/happy/secure".

More to the point: He wants to make us Kingdom people. He says,
Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given to you.
Be like ravens, not like rich farmers. Trust God will feed you.

OK Jesus, but sometimes ravens starve or get eaten by other ravenous wild animals. And wildflowers are here today and gone tomorrow.

And that's his point. They live fully in the moment as long as they are alive.
You are much more valuable than the raven and wildflower.
When you die you die. God will take care of you.
But unlike ravens and wildflowers we have the capacity to make the world our treasure...things that pass away. Jesus is saying, do not worry about things that pass away. Don't have your treasure there. Carefree doesn't mean you don't care. It means you'll have His peace that surpasses understanding. You are going to die. So what. Trust God. Live carefree. He's given you the Kingdom.

We will live more passionately and more effectively if we are not clinging to it...place no identity, have no security wrapped up in the world; rather keep your eternal perspective and be free to live like a real human being.

Then Jesus said to his disciples:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry
about your life, what you will eat;
or about your body,
what you will wear.
Life is more than food,
and the body more than clothes.
Consider the ravens:
They do not sow or reap,
they have no storeroom or barn;
yet God feeds them.
And how much more valuable you are than birds!
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
Since you cannot do this very little thing,
why do you worry about the rest?
Consider how the wild flowers grow.
They do not labor or spin.
Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor
was dressed like one of these.
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,
which is here today,
and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink;
do not worry about it.
For the pagan world runs after all such things,
and your Father knows that you need them.
But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Do not be afraid, little flock,
for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
Sell your possessions and give to the
poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out,
a treasure in heaven that will never fail,
where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

3x2x1 random things

Thanks for the tag Santiago ~ I have complied with your gracious meme accost.

1. When I was around 10, I was holding a 2 x 4 for my Dad while he cut it to size with a hand saw. The board started to slip and I went to grab it and my left thumb got in the way. The rest is a blur but while Dad was shocked and horrified my Mom kicked into gear and grabbed the white washcloth, wrapped it around my hand and off we sped to the ER. 10 or 11 stiches later (ouch! thump thump throb!) the tip was reattached and I survived and still have a scar and disformed thumbnail (and the blue stitches in a scrapbook somewhere) to prove it.

2. Speaking of nails, I used to bite mine. Then I went through a phase of acrylic nails and finally gave up biting and faking it and grew some of my own. It's a bummer when they chip and tear but thems the breaks.

3. I learned that I was mistakenly referring to some thoughts as being random synapses since according to a fascinating lecture series we are listening to (as part of Rob's Psychophysiology class) nothing random occurs in the brain...it is all highly regulated, but we don't know how exactly.

4. When I was 8 or 9 I saw this yellow hi-flier kite at Pixie Pack and just HAD TO HAVE IT! I wore my parents down to YES and finally was out in my front yard in veritable kite bliss when all of the sudden unbeknownst to me, my spool of string was not properly tied off at the end and my coveted kite flew AWAY! My brother Tom and I went on a rescue mission and finally at the end of the day we located the tattered and torn remnants in a tree on the other side of mud lake. I learned about emotional spiraling before I knew what it was.

p.s. I was reminded of this again a few weeks ago when we watched The Kite Runner. Rob is going to get me a really cool kite and we are going to go fly it in the huge open field down the road, I think.

5. When I was a teenager, we did not have call waiting. We had an upstairs and a downstairs phone. It was a source of many arguments and embarassments as someone would get on the other line and say GET OFF THE PHONE, I'm expecting a call from so and so, or would holler I NEED TO USE THE PHONE NOW....and to this day, I hate talking on the phone!

6. I had a bunny named Marco Polo. He was a little explorer and I thought he was going to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records as being the biggest, oldest rabbit EVER to live. He shared a kennel with Penny and they got along remarkably well. Penny died, and we got a new black lab, and some months later Marco got out of his hutch and that dog (Sam?) chased him around the kennel until he had a little bunny heart attack. My brothers tracked me down on bikes to inform me of this and I raced home and sat crying with Marco (fully rigamortified) in my arms when our parents got home. Meanwhile, all four grandparents had been summoned and came to our rescue and Grandpa Washenberger even had big apple tears in his eyes and never again teased me about how he was going to make hassenpfeffer soup out of my little Marco.

I tag Rob.

tree lessons

"new growth"

at first i see this tender shoot

my heart is glad

but next thought

sad

my smile turns grim

will this new life

be pruned

for the good

of the whole

will it delight

somehow

to serve the tree

just to have had

this chance

to be

"resilience"

and then just on the other side

as if the tree could not but chide

do you see

try as you may

it won't stop me

at the cabin

Mom and Carlee ready to bake something sweet!

Katie & Tyler spending their first summer vacation away from U of M Crookston together
from Cottage Grove to Finlayson...now they're missing each other like crazy since he flew home to Cali today but she's SO CAL next month ... lucky girl!

Leeah bee!~

nice catch! {peek-a-bee}

we miss Rob so much when he's gone ~ a trip to the lake really helps us cope

Lifting them up so He can set them free!

Please pray for this team and the 140+ men attending boot camp now thru Sunday.

Thank you!

audacious space to share exquisite beauty ~Jen~

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of
being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

treats

for baking

with Grandma

for Marek to spew





for thinking of Jeni

for holding onto

Being Inside Out for Jenni

Today begins the ebay auction to help Jen Ballantyne, a single mom in Australia suffering from stage four colon cancer. Bella, Meg, and Jen have banded together to raise funds for Jenni's care. Please consider what you can do to help bless this lovely one today.

More about the auction here.

garnet mondays @ ruby tuesdays

When you are
a real princess
you are sensitive
to your own feelings
and to others around you.
You care about
what is true
and you tell the truth
and you do that in ways
that are loving,
respectful,
full of grace
and gentleness.

Meet a real princess. We cut our chips and salsa time short this week since Carlee didn't have to be at gymnastics. She did need to be home early enough to practice her Walt Disney presentation with Mom that she was giving at school on Thursday AND being videotaped! [can't wait to see how she did] and how confident she'd be knowing her stuff! Like, once upon a time, in a land far, far away....well actually, not so far away, dontchya know...Walt Disney was born in Chicago, IL. With Mom coaching her, she would surely stand up strong and present all the fun things she learned about this creative genius in her own unique captivating style!

But that still gave us plenty of time to go on a little adventure trip down Sherrie Lane!

We stopped home to pick up Gracie and listened to this song and visited Haiti before heading over to Woodbury. We spied "the popsicle man" driving his ice cream truck on a side street and started thinking about different things we want to do on our summer days together. Five minutes later we were at our old stomping grounds...where her Daddy grew up. I remember the day my Dad brought Mom and our new baby home from the hospital 37 years ago today actually! (Happy Birthday Stephan David!!) I was down on my knees on our red brick sidewalk trying to gently assess the life of a bumblebee when the little bugger stung me! Ouch!! I remember putting mud on it and crying but mostly I remember adoring my little brother!! and I still do.

Now back to our Woodbine-Sherrie Lane Adventure...we visited the creek where as kids we'd ride our bikes to and would walk in the creek to our picnic spot around the bend but this time we got there by driving down the path that starts where Coggins' house used to be in the culdesac court that we played in tar puddles once with our cousins and rode our bikes and big wheels and inch worms around and around...just before the top of the sledding hill that would take us all the way down onto the lake! and there was that curb along Sherrie Lane where my sister fell and broke her arm that I went back there to dissect the gum that fell out of her mouth to see if she was going to be ok while my parents had taken her to the hospital...and last but not least, actually first, we went to the office building where I used to look for agates for hours. We're going to go back there when we have more time. We looked across the highway at the spot where Dad (Grandpa Jerry) would take us in our station wagon and we'd swim at the Tanner's Lake drop off.

I gave her Princess and the Pea
and read it to her at the restaurant...
[it helped us talk about that terrible fight she and her sisters got into that Saturday]
I loved that book as a little girl and now I can see why through Carlee's eyes. We drove past Carver Elementary to see where Daddy went to school and drove past Afton Park where he played little league. It was fun!! Next time we are going to make a list of ideas for our garnet mondays...

There's a ravine by her house that we are going to pack a picnic basket and blanket and bring Gracie. Some days we'll probably just hang out at her pool and bbq with the family. We even hope to visit Marcell's garden so Carlee can meet her beautiful granddaughter April! [Hoping to find a bumblebee that feels safe enough to let me pet its fur again...still longing for Eden.] The Girls Rock video will arrive in September so we're for sure planning a last hurrah girls' night in! And paint rocks that say cool things like "I'm Sensitive" and "Create Beauty" and "You Are Safe" and "You Rock" and "I Know a Real Princess" and "Sisters Share Love & Laughter" and we hope Auntie Sue will come with us sometime too!

memories ablaze

My parents were awoken at 4:30 a.m. yesterday morning by their neighbor Jim alerting them that cabins were burning just a few down from theirs. You can listen to Jim's story and about his missing cat, a wild one that was hopefully just hunkered down somewhere safe and will again have a spring litter of calico kittens in the neighbor lady's shed. Please keep these families and the arsons in your prayers. My dad called earlier and was telling me how he left their porch light on overnight last night and sprang from bed early this morning engulfed with a foreboding feeling and swearing he saw a flickering flame only to find it was likely just his imagination. My mom told of an elderly woman a couple cabins away from a burning cabin that was taken by ambulance as propane tanks around them exploded. Mom, Dad and Jim stood out on the frozen lake feeling the helplessness of the situation...nearly a foot of fresh snow had fallen making it difficult for fire fighters to get close and they recalled watching the recent devastation of the wildfires in California with a whole new understanding of what those people were feeling. Local news story here.

Country Cajolings

As I contemplate the purpose of this blog entry, two primary motivations rise to the top of the neocortex with plenty of "pure amygdala" promptings. First, it's a fun-loving attempt to rouse the slightest bit of affinity for the genre from one of the most unlikely of converts. Whoever could that be? It may very well serve only to install the aversion even deeper in her psyche. We shall see. Secondly, it is a personally embarrassing recollection of my first-ever favorite song by the country boy extraordinaire, God rest his soul, John Denver. One Sunday afternoon, my Dad peaked into my childhood bedroom and found me crouched on the other side of my twin bed wedged between it and the wall with this album cover in hand and pressed firmly against my lips. After the blood that had bolted up into my face faded to a lighter shade of pink, I explained how I was pretending he was that really cute boy at church that my heart was seriously crushing over, hoping that would elicit some compassion and understanding. I don't remember anything more other than feeling pretty foolish. I listen to the lyrics of this song now and am struck by how obscure and random they are and how much I didn't know what on earth he's really singing about. But something about it touched something in me that I still love even if I didn't really get it then. So, here is my contribution to the all time favorite country songs collection. If you have one you'd like added just include the song title and artist's name in your comment and I'll see what I can find on youtube and we'll get 'er done.



Rob's tip o' the hat...









and Rob's was...


for bella and leo...


and one for gracie...


marcell's emmy...


and a funky reggae encore...

Godchildren*

inspired by the magical love that is linni ~ i share my precious darlings with you . . .

love this post! i am godmother to timmy, lauren and carlee...one of
each of my sister's and brothers' children, and i cherish them as if they were
my own. you have sparked me to write about these three special treasures meme
style on my blog and i'll tag you when i do as the inspiration! my youngest gem
is 11 now and we are meeting weekly for 'garnet mondays at ruby tuesdays' since
we share a january birthday and a lot of each other's personality traits too ;)
we get each other pretty well. love you linni. will take your thoughtful tips to
make these precious ones feel as special as they are.

Sitting on the dock of the 'Big Pine Lake' bay are my brother Steve alongside our first nephew Timmy. #18 is my sister Sue & Craig's firstborn son and my first godchild. His heart is as expansive as his shoulders are becoming in this memory picture from a few years back and like that first shocking big shoulder awareness that my little brother Steve was not a little boy anymore, Timmy has grown into a real man, loving husband to Stacey, and proud father to my first grand-nephew Jayden.

Daddy says Jayden is

the sweetest little
bundle of joy
EVER!

My beautiful niece Lauren [who looks remarkably like Cameron Diaz] just became a new mommy on February 28, 2008....just barely pushing before the leap year stroke of midnight! Lauren's voice and musical talents are mostly inherited from her angelic singing mother although my brother Tom can belt out a good tune [and with Ang they sing a mad toe-tappin' duet or a rousing "Skol, Vikings!"] so maybe it's just a perfect blend of feminine and masculine Imago Dei passed down to their daughter. LDubb, my precious first goddaughter...I love you dearly!

Now, if you recall Joey, my special rock hunting companion, he is Lauren's brother...and just became an uncle for the first time. So one way or the other, this custom designed onesie is definitely going to be fitting for our new little nephew Trey. Only question is will he be shooting pucks or finding pretty rocks first?

[for any baby shower planners...this was a fun activity for all!]

And last but not least, the lovely Carlee Anne.

Caring, nurturing, forgiving and more

describes the person that we all adore.

Thinking of others in multiple ways

will guide the little ones all of their days.

Take this angel given to you

from a child that does what you do.

Godmother, Aunt, Teacher and Friend,

the bond that you share will never end.

Many will see it, many may not,

but to us, your influence sure means a lot.

Sharing something, though indescribable it's there,

the ways that you both seem to love and care

for others in ways that affects you so deep

this commonality is great that both of you keep.

Thank you for caring, for being there to show

her wonderful ways to help her to grow.

Just knowing the problems Carlee could face,

it's comforting knowing she's filled with God's grace.

~a poem from Steve & Kathy~

I'm hoping this Girls Rock movie comes to town so we can go see it together although I'm pretty sure we would be the first two putting in our earplugs! Love the concept though and Kirsten had some great ideas for 'quieter' Girls Rock alternatives [dance, visual arts, more classical forms of music]. Those tween and teen years are turbulent ones and what a difference this sort of thing could be.

It has been said that Carlee and I are a lot alike...and neither of us are at all bothered by that (even though it smacks of our being a little sensitive and a lot strong willed) we consider it a compliment and anything else is just for critics (love that line in the Girls Rock trailer!). Carlee loves competing in gymnastics and cooking with Grandma. Those times together, just like our Garnet Mondays @ Ruby Tuesdays, rock like jewels!

Last October while Rob was doing an Advanced Wild at Heart boot camp at Timber Bay, about an hour away from where Carlee and I sat on the same dock that is shown in the first picture above, we were praying about all kinds of things and she surely has Jesus in her heart. And on the drive home the next morning we sang this song and talked about God and Satan and heaven and hell...and the difference between make believe Santa and the Easter Bunny and having faith in Jesus. Nothing has prepared me to have the answers to such questions for such a young searching heart...I praise and ask the Lord to give me just enough words.

a gift to treasure

Poem for do-bee

Like petticoats twirling
Thoughts dark and bright
Blue agate rivers swirling
Tumble in at night

Then! Quiet, and soften
For beauty can see
That every so often
She ceases from doing to BE.

from marsyl

~ ~ ~

i found a veritable treasure trove you all will love to see
creative~wise~beauty~full a gift from God is she
who wrote this ditty just for me who listened deep and knew
we truly simply need to know we're loved for who we be

thank you marcell for who you are
~a treasured gift from God to thee~
i share her with you now...the lovely pentimento

still lovin' the snow

walks with rob rock!!!

random retelling 3

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how valuable is a song that can transport you right back to a certain place in time? Some times we would rather forget. As I switched over from the usual cd selection the other day this was playing on the radio and swiiish! all those feelings came rushing back like a violent crashing wave tossed on the stormy sea to let me know that cynic is still alive and well down there somewhere and probably could use a little Jesus in that place...but for now she's just letting that part listen to the retelling of this extended chapter of the do bee di story.



by Soul Asylum

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything seems cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same