Tuesday, January 29, 2008

do bee di

Do bee just wanted to do the right thing...and wanted to know, how would I know? Who would tell me the answers to all my little questions much less the bigger ones? They started teasing little do bee da. "I am not do bee da! I am a good do bee!!"

I am not a don't bee *pout* I am a sensitive little swc do bee!

"Never injure a child even in jest."

I had what everyone thought was an allergy to fish and broke out with hives and itchy eyes and painful blisters at the least opportune times. And not on my forearm or behind a knee. My childish mind would retreat inside and ask "Why God, why me? Why my face?" Now there was an even more provoking name to call do bee. Charlie wanna minnow? I got really mad. And ugly. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. But why me? When I was a child I thought like a child and reasoned like a child but now I know...Thanks Charlie for protecting our feelings; now the H can go and Carlie can stay!!

By the time Jr. High rolled around, my tender adolescent soul hardened like a coat of Sally Hansen's finest on brittle nails. Enter rebel pot smoking partying mixed with sports, good grades and cheerleading. Ms. K poked me with a not so subtle jab and wrote in my 7th grade yearbook "you are a study in contradictions." Terri tells me now that teacher is not who I thought she was. Thirty years and an ex-husband and lover later, I learned "the truth hurts but not as much as the eventual anguish the soul feels when deception is revealed. The desperate attempts to piece together, the disorientation of figuring out what is really real magnified by the inability to grasp another's intentionality to shroud. Tell me the truth so that I can exist and act upon what I know versus what has been hidden." I am never afraid of what I know. Anna Sewell

amazing love how can it be
then one glorious winter morning...the same sun that melts wax hardens clay. Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? And there is rejoicing in heaven when once lost is found once blind now sees. I found it! He found me.

sweet sorrow
A buried desire~another chance. Month after month hope after hope~dashed. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Enter trusting Him no matter what.

escaping the matrix
tnt renovation time!
tearing down~building up~living abundantly in love!
first...unlearn "doing numb" then rethink-refeel-redo everything.

concrete advice

I am still learning to be.

princess pea
"I'm not kinesthetic!"
And then I woke up.
I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way.

it is written in the sand...
Mine beloved.

you are...
"And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it." Rev. 2:17

testing the water
Let me be a shining light for you
~Let me be a joy to you always~

...for it is the wellspring of life!


kirsten said...

hi di!! thanks for coming to say hi over at christianne's space. ;o) right now we are enjoying sorbet/ice cream & a post-wine buzz. we've both got our laptops open on this table of hers & are just enjoying being silly together.

so, hello! ;o)
- (a very warm & happy) kirsten

Terri said...

Hi Di,

I'm probably able to appreciate this more than most. I love the way you dive into everything you do with so much energy and curiosity. And I love the way you connect the dots. You're beautiful sister.

di said...

rejoicing with you kirsten & christianne ~ another new day to enjoy together!

terri: you are on the inside and for that i am eternally grateful, beautiful to know you connected the dots which reminds me of the children's book jules told me about last night "you are special" and that friends who can see through the grey and connect the dots rather than put them on each other is mad starry special!

Nathan said...


It was like goin down the rabbit hole with you, and emerging on the other side.

I'm certain you and Terri share some powerful testimonies and experiences.

There must be more to this Theosynergistic Neuro-Transformation than just the long name ... lol. I need to learn more. I've been interested in it for some time.

di said...

Hi Nathan,

This book is a good place to start; I suspect you already know this and have taken the red pill, no regrets.

Nathan said...

I don't know if you wanna participate in this or not, but it's kinda fun.

We are doing some blogging "memes."

You can find directions on Christianne's post here:

You were one of the people I tagged.

Dean said...

Hi Di

Had to come over to say Hi and see what was happening in this part of my ever growing blog-web.

Your link to CVM for Nathan just made me realise how much more reading I still have to do! I'll get to it.

di said...

nathan: thanks for the tag! backatchya brother. good to see you again and I hope that means you are feeling much better!

dean: Hi! wonderful to see you here! So many books, so little time. Looking forward to the mutually edifying dialogue my wild new blog friend!