absence of presence

pictures worth three thousand words

a season of grace

"We are in a prophetic season of grace. God has already judged Jesus on the cross and He will judge us when the books are opened in eternity. Between then and now, however, we live in a season of grace. There is no judgment now, only the chastisement and discipline that comes because we are maturing into full sons and daughters of God." Graham Cooke

...to be continued...

Now: Reading Approaching the Heart of Prophecy and this quote got me thinking of this blog that has been brewing ever since...then.

Then: This picture was snapped the day we brought our little Gracie girl to be cremated. It was a relief just to have her with us again. Riding in the back of the Rav. Then nothing but ashes in a little flowered tin. From the moment she entered this world, shooting out of Sudi into my palms, to the moment she left us, collapsing peacefully into my arms and into a gentle snore....she graced our life and brought so much joy just by being there and she taught me such patience. I am still learning. She taught us to "be present" and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

And to keep hoping.

She wore one reluctantly but was in her heart a gentle leader.

Still...

If only ~ even if He does not ~ we will still believe. We will still dance in the fiery furnace with our Hebrew brothers and we will still believe it is God's will and desire to heal ~ and I will pray ~ Thy Kingdom come ~ NOW ~ Thy will be done ~ NOW ~ on earth ~ NOW ~ as it is ~ NOW ~ in heaven. Staying present to His Presence no matter what in the knowing and the not knowing ~ still remembering ~ still trusting ~ still daring to hope ~ still asking ~ still receiving ~ still learning to shine ~ from kindred hearts who are and have walked this path with such inspiring grace and Glory. Lord, have mercy.

Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

In loving memory of sweet baby Ewan Eliezer Petermann
September 18, 2010 - October 4, 2010

but still...If Only...

Love never fails.

tucking inside

Once the Shepherd stooped and touched the flowers gently with His fingers, then said to Much-Afraid with a smile, 'Humble yourself, and you will find that Love is spreading a carpet of flowers beneath your feet.'

Much-Afraid looked at Him earnestly. 'I have often wondered about the wild flowers,' she said. 'It does seem strange that such unnumbered multitudes should bloom in the wild places of the earth where perhaps nobody ever sees them and the goats and the cattle can walk over them and crush them to death. They have so much beauty and sweetness to give and no one on whom to lavish it, nor who will even appreciate it.'

The look the Shepherd turned on her was very beautiful. 'Nothing My Father and I have made is ever wasted,' He said quietly, 'and the little wild flowers have a wonderful lesson to teach. They offer themselves so sweetly and confidently and willingly, even if it seems that there is no one to appreciate them. Just as though they sang a joyous little song to themselves, that it is so happy to love, even though one is not loved in return.

'I must tell you a great truth, Much-Afraid, which only the few understand. All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid achievements are always those which no one else knows anything about, or can only dimly guess at. Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love. Many a quiet, ordinary, and hidden life, unknown to the world, is a veritable garden in which Love's flowers and fruits have come to such perfection that it is a place of delight where the King of Love Himself walks and rejoices with His friends.

Some of My servants have indeed won great visible victories and are rightly loved and reverenced by other men, but always their greatest victories are like the wild flowers, those which no one knows about. Learn this lesson now, down here in the valley, Much-Afraid, and when you get to the steep places of the mountains it will comfort you.'

excerpted from Hinds' Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard

[props to my irish dancing mermaid for her ability to see what others might miss]

found: treasures

found these gems
among a sea of treasures











After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn...with every goodbye you learn.

~Virginia Shopstall

then...

After 'after awhile'

You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but

to enjoy its company,

and you want someone's lips to kiss,

not because you are lonely but because you are

happy, and you want to give presents

and you want to give promises.

After 'after a while'

You begin to accept your defeats like an adult,

but like a child, will want someone to listen and care,

and you want someone who will build roads with you today

so maybe you can pave the way for your future together.

After 'after a while' you want someone's sunshine and warmth,

but also accept the rain and the cold,

and you want to give flowers picked from your own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect,

you want it to be more than a picture

even if it means having to be imperfect

because you want someone in it to stay and live.

Then you'll see that there is such a thing as love...

and that you were made to live in someone else's garden...

and you'll know that there is more to life than yourself.

AND NOW...you realize that no matter how tightly you hold,

if you're meant to let go, you can

And then you will understand that love gives you reasons

to understand even the most complicated situations

And you will grow older believing that just because

you have convictions doesn't mean you're always right.

You will remember lips because of the smiles that made your day,

the words that touched your soul, not only because of the sweet kisses

And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb the meaning of lessons

learned, you feel that you are finally being the person you never thought you'd be.

So, armed with courage, strength and confidence,
you will face the world head on...with or without an army behind you

Because you know your worth and that alone is an armor.

With more heartbreaks you will cry

But after every heartache, you will rise.

~Hazel