I just finished listening to John Eldredge's cd series on The Four Streams and it brought back to mind a past experience of the Counselor coming for me and bringing Healing to a broken and shattered part of my heart that needed His truth and healing touch and, in a precious few moments, was able to reconnect a dis-integrated part back into the whole.
It was just the beginning but it was a gloriously good start. At the time this occurred this experience bookmarks a coming together of several resources pouring into my midst; reading the manuscript for Seeing is Believing, learning the foundations of a broad spectrum of therapeutic healing techniques in the lay counseling class at church, attending a one day teaching on theophostic prayer...sponging it all up and practicing
"how to" but finding real healing in the process. I retrieved this April 2004 post from CVM and decided to share this small chapter of the sweet sorrow story.
As an adult woman on the other side of a painful struggle with infertility…one day as I was praying, the Holy Spirit guided me to recall a childhood memory…
I’m five or six years old – downstairs at the house where I grew up – looking up at Santa (very suspicious that he looked an awful lot like Uncle Gene) but anyway, Santa begins to hand out presents to all the children, my two brothers, then my sister, then each of my five cousins, one by one Santa calls out their name HO! HO! HO! and with excitement and smiles they are handed a present to open. But then, there are no presents left, Santa’s bag is empty, and there was no present for me.
I hear my Dad say “Sandy, how could you forget her present!!!” It was evidently an oversight on Mom’s part [oops]...
But now, I’m remembering the joy each of my siblings and cousins experienced as every one of them were eventually blessed with a child, then another, and another… and I’m remembering the pain of those days, the unmet desire, the disappointment…month after month, hoping, praying… the old thought that I’d been forgotten, overlooked, why wouldn’t God bless me with this gift? Please! Tears flowed followed by sobbing at the deep pain I didn’t even know still existed.
Then, there was Jesus, sitting on the step beside me, with his arms around me, he told me the TRUTH “In this world YOU WILL have trouble, but I leave you my peace…I have given you many gifts…and I will never leave you nor forsake you, I will be with you always, until the end.”
The tears became tears of joy and gratitude welled up in me as I experienced Jesus' love and concern for me, his compassion, his gentle, healing touch.
Forgiveness wasn’t necessary in this memory, but Jesus did bring truth and healing to this six year old child who did not know the truth at the time. She just felt forgotten. But Jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free! [Posted 4/13/2004]